Never Give Your Uniqueness to Please Others – Sumbal Sarwar

A memorable advice that I read somewhere and learned its importance through experience.

Never give up your individuality/uniqueness to please others. An advice that has stuck with me ever since I learned this through experience some 6-7 years ago.

We! Every one of us! is unique with a special set of qualities, talents and gifts. But many times, we take this individual personality and the uniqueness  for granted because unfortunately the society prefers homogeneity and conformity  in how we live, think and agree or disagree or like and dislike.  And just to fit in, we would yield to the perspective and ideologies of dominating majority. Most of the times, we would give up our own thinking, opinion, way of living and even our likes and dislikes. Sometimes, to please others or to win some friendship.  At that time, it might look like a very insignificant price to pay.  But, as my experience goes, it is the dearest prize to pay with unhappiness, dissatisfaction and    heart-breaking pain guaranteed.We are naturally desirous of friendship, social interaction and company. But we must always remember that our own individuality should not be at stake to get that camaraderie which is so desired by human heart. A true friend would value us for all our thoughts and opinions.  And one who does not support difference of opinion has a narrow mind and narrow heart. And can’t be a true friend. This had been the situation with me when I was conflicted in my mind and heart and struggled weather to procure the friendship of a dear friend or to save my own identity. And after a lot of suffering it dawned on me that losing your very individuality can’t be worth of having a friend who has no value for what and who you are. Ironically, this particular friend often claimed to “be yourself” but somehow, could not let others be themselves. It took a lot of strength and all the courage for me to stand up and rid myself of this sweet, sugar coated bond that was actually venomous and it was painful and hard with the consequences of loneliness and ya, for a little while, self-doubt. But in the end, the pain was worth it.

Our own ability to think, to ponder and to ask questions is precious. This very uniqueness which is irreplaceable is what makes us human beings and if taken away or rather, given up, I believe leaves a lingering dissatisfaction and unhappiness.